Blind Devotion
by Xandrolar1
Summary: One shot: Morgana attacks, Merlin is hurt, Arthur witdraws, until a wise man points out some home truths and Arthur must face his true feelings. NON SLASH - Bromance only - Please read and review


"Good Morning Sire!" Merlin said cheerfully, opening the drapes to reveal a heavy downpour of rain outside. Arthur was already sitting up and looked past Merlin to the outside world.

"If you're a duck" Arthur replied.

"A little rain never hurt anyone" Merlin countered as he laid out the breakfast, while Arthur moved over and put on his tunic. Merlin began to arrange his clothing for the day as Arthur ate.

"What's on todays agenda?" asked Arthur between mouthfuls of food.

"Training this morning, ermm you have the work permit applications this afternoon, and after that I think it's a free day" Merlin said.

"I hate work permit applications, all I ever do is say try the town" he said.

"I know, but your father had to do it, so do you, its one of those kingly duties that means you have to interact with us peasants" Merlin joked. The corner's of Arthur's mouth tugged up slightly.

"Merlin I never have shunned from talking to lower caste people" Arthur said. "You of anyone should know that" he said.

"Wait, I'm still lower class?" asked Merlin in mock shock. This did finally draw a laugh from Arthur, who moved behind the dressing screen, having finished his breakfast. Merlin piled the dishes up and left the room, returning a few minuets later empty handed. He handed Arthur his clothing and then while Arthur finished dressing went about making the bed.

"Right once you've done that, you can clean the armour and do the laundry" Arthur said, looking out into the heavy rain. Merlin had mucked out the stables the previous day, and he wasn't totally heartless.

"The stables can wait until the weather's cleared a little" he said. Merlin grinned.

"don't look so happy Merlin, that just means tomorrow you'll have two day's worth of horse dung to clear" Arthur said. Merlin thought for a moment then grimaced. Arthur grinned, and walked towards the door.

"Come on, we'll train in the armoury today" he said.

* * *

><p>The training session went well, and the knights all seemed grateful that Arthur had chosen to conduct todays training indoors. However the room they were in was large and cold. So their breath still frosted but by the end of it, all of the knights were sweating slightly. Arthur giving them a pep talk as Merlin cleared away the weapons and shields they had used. He took them into the back room where he began to replace them, pausing slightly when he felt a tingling down his spine. Familiar, evil. Slowly he turned and walked back towards the other room, the knights were still there, as was Arthur, but this time the room was bathed in an unnatural pick hue. He moved back slightly when Morgana stepped forwards, holding a glowing crystal. Arthur and the other's all seemed to want to move towards her, but they seemed rooted to the spot.<p>

"Arthur, did you miss me?" Morgana asked in a tone that was almost pleasant.

"What have you done Morgana?" he demanded, straining to move.

"A simple enchantment, nothing more, but enough for my purpose. You see, I've been thinking, I've had immortal armies here, then Helios and his men, Agravane, and still you live. So I think it's high time I took care of this myself. The crystal is known as a Focus Shard, it expands my own power, so a simple spell like say, an immobilisation spell will affect everyone in the room when it's cast. And likewise it will also absorb any magic used against me" she said. "So I wouldn't count on your vaunted Emry's being able to save you now" she said as she pulled a sharp dagger from her belt.

"_Cor'Throma"_ Merlin whispered, his eyes going golden. The air around him reacted, but Morgana didn't feel a thing. Instead she slowly advanced towards Arthur. Merlin suddenly realised what Morgana said was true. Spells couldn't hurt her. Merlin watched, torn as to what to do, the last time he'd been in a predicament like this had been a year ago, and he and Arthur had been hiding from the Drochora. Back then he'd had to act just as Merlin the servant boy. Seemed he would have to do so again. Steeling himself, he ran forwards from the room, Morgana turning at the last instant, eyes wide as he snatched the crystal from her hand.

"Won't you ever stop interfering!" she screamed. Merlin looked at her, then at the crystal. He could still feel the power emanating from it, and the others were still immobile.

"No" Merlin replied, then with as much force as he could slammed his hand forwards towards the wall, the crystal exploded knocking Merlin, Morgana and the knights hurtling across the room. Then everything went dark.

* * *

><p>Morgana recovered first, glaring at Merlin who lay huddled in the corner, rolled up into a ball, with rage she moved towards him, dagger held high, then paused as behind her she heard Arthur.<p>

"Don't even think it" he warned. She whirled around, seeing Arthur and several angry knights looking at her.

"This is not over Arthur" she sneered, then vanished. Arthur stepped forwards, slowly lowering his sword, it was that moment he saw Merlin, still laying in the corner of the room, unmoving. Gwaine reached him first, gently turning Merlin over. Merlin's head lolled to the side, but he was breathing and looked uninjured.

"Come on, get him to Gaius" Arthur said helping Gwaine to lift him.

* * *

><p>Gaius looked up as the doors opened, Arthur and Gwaine dragging Merlin between them. Gwen was now with them, having seen them in the corridor.<p>

"What happened?" demanded Gaius as Merlin was laid on the bed.

"Morgana, she attacked us in the training room" Arthur said. "She had some kind of crystal, a focusing crystal, none of us could move" said Arthur. "Merlin was putting the weapons away" offered Gwaine as Gaius tended to his ward.

"And?" demanded Gaius.

"She was about to kill me when Merlin ran out and grabbed the crystal. He smashed it on the wall and when we recovered he was like this" Arthur said. Gaius nodded.

"A Focusing Crystal you say?" he asked more gently.

"Yes, that's what she called it, said it expanded her power" Gwaine replied.

"I know what it does" Gaius sounded almost sad.

"Gaius… what is it?" asked Gwen finally speaking up.

"When Merlin destroyed it, the contained energies would have backwashed, over him. What you all felt, what knocked you down, Merlin would have had the full force of that" Gaius said.

"But he's fine, he's breathing" said Arthur.

"For the moment yes, but there's no telling what damage has been done, damage we cannot see" Gaius said.

"So he could still die?" asked Gwaine.

"I honestly don't know" Gaius admitted.

"Do what you have to" Arthur said.

"I promise, I will"

* * *

><p>Day went into night, Arthur dropping by several times, sometimes with Gwen, sometimes alone, but still Merlin would not wake, and each time, Gaius would inform him if there was any change. But he would not stop Arthur visiting, because as much as the king tried to, he couldn't hide his concern. On the eighth visit of the day, somewhere around one AM, Gaius looked up from where he was tending to his unconscious charge as Arthur walked in again. His hair was a mess, and he had slight bags under his eyes.<p>

"Have you slept sire?" Gaius asked softly. Arthur took a deep breath and shook his head.

"no" he admitted, slumping down into the empty chair. Gaius watched him for a moment, then stood.

"I'm sure I could get you a tonic or something to help" he offered. Arthur shook his head.

"It's okay, I don't think I could sleep anyway. My mind is…" he shrugged. "He'd be the first to tell me to stop moping about and get on with my duties, wouldn't he?" Arthur asked, gesturing to the sleeping manservant. Gaius looked briefly at Merlin, then back at Arthur.

"More than likely yes" he admitted. "But I believe he would also be touched to see how concerned you are" he added. Arthur took a deep breath, and shook his head.

"I just want him to wake up so I can ask him what the hell possessed him to do what he did" Arthur said. "He could have been easily killed, and who knows he might still die, and for what?" Arthur demanded angrily.

"He did it sire, because no one else could" Gaius said gently. "Merlin is many things, stubborn, foolish, and sometimes reckless, but above it all is his abiding loyalty and love to you" Gaius admitted. Arthur looked up at Gaius.

"What?" he asked, taken aback at the physicians words.

"Sire, Merlin grew up a very lonely child, with only one person to call a friend, when he came here, and met you, that changed. Admittedly at first I thought you might end up killing him some days, and to be fair, you weren't his favourite person either, but looking from outside, in at the pair of you I got to see the relationship develop, until, finally you stopped being his personal nemesis, and became his friend, and from that, to when he began to feel for you as a brother" Gaius admitted. "What he did today Arthur, wasn't for his king, it was for a person he thinks of as family" Gaius said. Arthur abruptly stood.

"This is stupid, he's a servant Gaius, nothing more and he never can be" Arthur snapped.

"One cannot undo one's feelings Arthur, and perhaps this sudden anger, is not at Merlin but at yourself?" Gaius asked. Arthur shook his head.

"No Gaius, I don't know what's got into his adle-riddled brain, but if that's what he thinks… I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to put him right one a few home truths when he wakes up" Arthur said walking to the door.

"Sire, if I might ask?" Gaius called softly. Arthur paused, but did not turn back. Gaius took that as a queue to continue. "Then why have you been coming in all day?" he asked. Arthur did not reply, instead he left the room, slamming the door behind him. Gaius sighed and looked at Merlin. He prayed the boy was unconscious, because Arthur's words would have surely broken him.

* * *

><p>Morning came and Arthur dressed himself, he had slept, only fitfully, Gaius's words echoing around his head. Finally he got up and dressed himself, as a serving maid brought in his breakfast. He dismissed her and ate it in silence, until, when finished he stood and left his chambers. He passed Gwen in the corridor, and stopped briefly when she called him.<p>

"Gwen?" his kept his tone light, almost causal.

"Gaius just sent word, Merlin's awake" she said with a smile. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Good, is there anything else?" he asked. Gwen frowned.

"Arthur? Is there a problem?" she asked.

"Should there be?"

"I thought you would have been happy to hear he was awake" she said.

"Gwen, as much as it will pain you to hear this, Merlin _is_ just a servant, I can't spend my time worrying about him when there are more important matters to attend to" he snapped. Gwen was startled.

"Sorry, I just thought with him being your friend-"

"He is _not_ my friend, he is a servant Gwen, nothing more" Arthur said.

"Arthur what is this? This isn't you" she said. Arthur looked at her.

"You're right, this isn't me, but this is what I should be" he said, brushing past her. Gwen looking at him, mouth gaping open as he turned away from the steps that would lead to the pharmacy and instead went down.

* * *

><p>Gaius looked up as Gwen entered, Merlin was seated on a chair, carefully spooning some soup into his mouth.<p>

"My lady" Gaius greeted.

"Gwen" Merlin replied a second later. Gwen stepped forwards.

"How are you feeling?" she asked gently.

"My hand feels like it's on fire" Merlin stated.

"Arthur sends his regards" Gwen said suddenly.

"He's not coming to visit?" Merlin asked, a small sound of hurt in his voice.

"You know Arthur, all over the Morgana attack now, getting into his just in case mode" Gwen lied.

Merlin smiled, and then spooned some more soup into his mouth. Gaius however did not look happy.

"Will your hand be alright?" Gwen asked softly. Merlin shrugged.

"I still have fingers, so that's a bonus" he replied.

"So there were no side effects of the backlash?" asked Gwen happily.

"Oh there was" Merlin said sadly. Gwen frowned, but it was obvious Merlin wasn't going to tell her, so she looked at Gaius.

"It left him blind my lady" Gaius said softly. Gwen's hand went to her mouth.

"Is this true?" she asked softly. Merlin nodded.

"yep. Can't see a thing. Hey do you think Arthur will give me a reward for saving him?" asked Merlin with a grin, but it was obvious he was trying to hold it together. Gwen looked at Gaius sadly, her eyes were wet.

"Oh well, maybe not then" Merlin said softly.

"Merlin… you've probably heard this before but, this isn't the end of the world you know" she said softly. Merlin looked towards the sound of her voice.

"Gwen… please don't" he said gently, his voice wavering. Gwen looked at him. "If you say those words then it means it's true okay" he explained.

"I understand" she said softly. Then she cleared her throat. "I'll be back to visit later" she said.

"S'okay, you don't have to" Merlin replied.

"No, I don't have to. I want to" she said. Merlin smiled, and then listened as she left the room.

* * *

><p>Outside the door, Gwen leant against the wall, gathering her thoughts before she heard Merlin's crying from inside, and Gaius moving to comfort him. Tears in her own eyes she strode angrily away from the room.<p>

* * *

><p>Arthur and the knights were training on the muddy grass this morning, Gwaine looking angry at the king as he sparred with Percival. Arthur returning the glare, but turning as Gwen approached, her features also angry.<p>

"We need to talk" she said.

"Gwen, in case you hadn't noticed I'm in the middle of train-"

"_Now!_" she practically roared. Arthur's eyes shot wide and then he glared at her.

"Fine, what's this about and before you say it, do not mention Merlin" he said.

"I won't then, I won't tell you that the person you think of as just your _servant_ is awake, I won't tell you I just left him sobbing and I won't tell you its because whatever happened yesterday he's now blind, is that good enough Arthur? Is it?" she simmered. Arthur's mouth gaped open.

"He's what?" his voice was just a whisper.

"Blind" she said. "and I had to lie for you" she added. "He asked if you were visiting him, and I lied. Oh he hid it well, but he was hurt when I told him you were busy" she said. Arthur looked away, shame creeping onto his face.

"Leon!" he called. Leon looked over at him. "Carry on the training" he said. "I'll be back soon"

* * *

><p>Arthur opened the door quietly, Gaius looking up from where he sat with Merlin. Merlin for his part just stared ahead.<p>

"Awake I see" Arthur said, then mentally stabbed himself. Of all the words he could use… Merlin must not have heard the door open because he jumped slightly.

"Yep, wide awake" he replied. Arthur nodded and stepped forwards, but suddenly his mind went blank. What did you say in these situations?

"Arthur I'm blind, I'll adjust" Merlin said, then he grinned. "Or maybe you will" he added.

"How can you joke at times like this?" Arthur asked as Gaius stood and moved away from them, Arthur sitting in the chair he'd just vacated. Merlin's smiled faded.

"Because I have to Arthur. Because it stops me feeling scared" he admitted, tears forming in his eyes.

"You're scared?" Arthur asked gently. Merlin nodded.

"I woke up, and it was just dark" Merlin said. "and I knew my eyes were open, and I could hear Gaius…." suddenly he began to cry. Arthur reaching out to hold Merlin's shoulder.

"If this was magical, then there might be a way to reverse it" Arthur said. Merlin wiped his eyes.

"I asked Gaius, but he said there's no known treatment, when I broke the crystal to save you and the others, someone had to pay the price" Merlin said.

"Merlin…" Arthur's voice was soft.

"I'd do it again, you know that right?" Merlin suddenly asked him.

"I know, and I know why you would" Arthur said.

"Because your my king" Merlin stated. Arthur felt something snap inside him then.

"Because your my friend Merlin, and no matter what others say, my Brother" he said gently. Merlin smiled and nodded.

"I thought you might get annoyed if you found out that's how I felt" Merlin stated.

"I might have done, but a wise old man showed me the truth, and a wise young Queen as well" Arthur admitted. Merlin frowned, as behind them the door opened and Gwen walked in quietly.

"Merlin, I said some things last night, some things about you that were horrible, and untrue" Arthur said.

"Like what?" Merlin asked.

"That's not important. But all my life I've had to deal with people around me, people I care a great deal about getting hurt, or worse. And I have very few family left. I said those things, because no one was certain you would wake up, and I wanted to distance myself, to make it hurt less whatever happened" Arthur said. "The truth is, I don't want to lose you, or see you hurt, or any of that" Arthur realised he had started to cry. Merlin slowly reached out and put his hand on Arthur's shoulder. "And I couldn't do it. I tried. I tried to take you out of my life so it wouldn't hurt" Arthur was shaking now, behind them, Gaius and Gwen watched the exchange, Gwen smiling at her husband as Merlin leant forwards and hugged Arthur.

"And I am so sorry" Arthur said.

"It's okay. I forgive you" Merlin whispered softly.


End file.
